She is Everything
by Post-It Note Girl
Summary: After Emily is seriously injured in the field, JJ realises what she could have lost and how much she truly means to her.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own anything sadly. Also, this is my first fic ever... scary I know, so feedback would be greatly appreciated if you feel like it! This is just short to start with as I am undecided as to whether to leave it as a one shot or continue further, will see how it goes.**

_She is everything. My job, in its simplest form is words yet I cannot even articulate what she is to me, let alone voice those words. She is everything._

As I glance around the room I confirm my previous feeling that all eyes had settled on me. Before I knew it I was out of the conference area, racing down the stairs and headed towards the bathrooms. Locking the door behind me, I slumped to the floor as moving anywhere at this moment seemed an impossible feat. The tears that had been threatening to fall all day slowly began to roll down my cheeks, staining my clothes with emotions that had been waiting to reach the surface for weeks. Rationally I knew I was being too emotional, but I couldn't help but feel. She had made me feel more than I ever had before, with fear and love colliding, leaving me torn to pieces, as she remained oblivious.

The concrete floor was cold and I couldn't help but remember the basement in which we had found her, having fought for so long, as only she could. What I cannot comprehend is the fact that she is still alive. I had felt her weak pulse, I had helped to carry her out of the basement, despite Morgan insisting it would be better if he had done it and I had been convinced that I had lost her.

Lost. Gone. Forever.

Shaking myself from my dark thoughts I managed to hear a soft knocking at the door followed by a muted "Jennifer". There was only one person in this world who called me Jennifer. I reached behind me and unlocked the door as I attempted to hide my tears.

"JJ, oh, JJ." I heard her mutter as she pulled the door open and saw me on the floor. I took a deep breath and turned my body so I could look up at her.

"Emily." I heard her name escape from my lips. Her eyes, dark pools that conveyed every nuance of emotion as she carried herself through the world, met mine and I saw a look of confusion which rapidly changed to one that was much harder to identify. It always amazed me, her ability to read people, and as I saw the change that flashed across her face I knew I did not have to say a word, she would simply understand.

As I turned my head and looked down at my tear laden shirt I felt her slide down the door and settle herself next to me. Emily reached for my hand, grasping tightly and intertwining our fingers. My tears began to fall once more at the touch and I felt her looking at me, as if analyzing her next move. Suddenly she is tugging, pulling me into her lap. With little hesitation I settle myself in the warmth of her body as she wraps her arms around me and I let my pent up tears flow. I am too big to fit comfortably but somehow it feels like I am where I am meant to be, as though this is my place in the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**So I am going to keep going with this story I think. Also thanks for reviews and favourites the feedback is so helpful, I will try and get round to replying etc tonight, it is my mission! **

With her head resting against Emily's shoulder, JJ began to grapple with everything she was thinking about, as the emotion began to cause memories to flood her scattered train of thought.

She did not find it hard to define the beginning, the point on which she could pin her fascination with the new, slightly elusive, dark haired agent who had so quickly become a member of their team. The first time they met was only a brief encounter. She had been bustling down the corridor, arms stacked with files, on her way to Garcia's office when she saw an unfamiliar face head into the elevator.

"Can you hold the doors please?" the press liaison yelped as she almost dropped her folders. The woman she would in several moments time learn was named Emily Prentiss, stuck her hand against the large metal doors and smiled appreciatively at JJ.

"Do you need help with those?" she asked, "I may be new to this unit but don't be fooled, I am exceptionally good at carrying files."

"You are the new agent joining the team? Well, I would shake your hand but as you can see that may be a tad difficult..."JJ went to continue her sentence and introduce herself properly but realized the woman in front of her was standing waiting with her arms out expectantly.

"Oh, thanks, you are a life saver" the blonde replied awkwardly, dropping half her pile in the outstretched arms, "I'm Jennifer Jareau, the media liaison for the team, I am actually the one you will be seeing to get a rundown on the unit. I assume you have talked to Agent Hotchner already?"

"Yep, he mentioned you would be the person to see and I am Emily Prentiss by the way," she explained as the elevator drew to a halt and they both stepped out into the quiet corridor ahead of them. "As you can see though, my one true calling in life is lifting heavy piles of paper, I think I should just forget about the FBI, don't you?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely" JJ nodded in agreement. Reaching the end of hallway, Emily handed the shorter woman back her papers, smiling broadly as she did so, catching her a little off guard.

"Well I guess I will be seeing you again soon enough won't I, and maybe my paper carrying skills can once again be put to good use?"

"Perhaps" JJ muttered as she watched the brunette head in the opposite direction, completely perplexed by the situation.

After dropping off her files with Garcia, JJ wended her way back to her office and made herself comfortable as she opened a new case to assess. It wasn't long before her mind began to wander, settling itself on one Emily Prentiss. She couldn't seem to place her feelings about the new agent however and attempted to draw her thoughts back to her work. After another five minutes though, her mind was still mulling over the brunette, analysing her features, the dark eyes that had warmed as soon as she began to speak, the mouth that smirked slightly as she had departed and the walk that had showed no sign of hesitation, only confidence and utter assuredness. Something about the women intrigued her and the liaison only hoped that she would see her sooner rather than later.

All JJ could think about, while sitting wrapped in Emily's arms was this moment, the moment she knew there was something unique about Emily Prentiss. That was the day, unbeknownst to her, that she had begun to edge towards a slippery slope, a slope that lead to her sobbing uncontrollably in an a fifth floor bathroom, curled in the brunette's lap.


	3. Chapter 3

"JJ," the woman holding her quietly muttered, "you need to tell me what is going on. I am not going to lie, I had been expecting you to do this about a week ago, something is really getting to you isn't it?

The blonde lifted her head as she tried to gather all her thoughts in to some semblance of order that she could actually say out loud. The rush of emotions she felt though, when she looked into those worried dark eyes caught in her throat and all she could picture was that dark basement, so removed from this reality yet so close to it at the same time.

The case had been a long one. None of them ever suspected it would end the way it did, least of all JJ who had purposely been ignoring feelings for a certain new member of the team and was under the assumption she had all the time in the world. They had followed the suspect, George Benton, across several state lines and had been close to catching him more than once. His crimes, JJ could not even bring herself to think about as it only reminded her of the horror the brunette holding her had gone through.

After Morgan had apprehended the suspect, who had been startled by their surprise raid on a house owned under what he thought was an unknown alias, the team headed further inside in a hope of finding Emily. She had been taken two days earlier and no member of the team had been able to sleep in that time, running solely on adrenalin in a hope of finding the woman who had slowly made her way into the hearts of the entire team. Morgan was the first down into the basement followed closely by JJ and Hotch. At the site her stomach dropped, the lifeless form, cut, beaten and bruised. "Emily..." she whispered.

The feeling of the other woman's chest rising and falling drew JJ back to the present, the movement was a simple reminder of the value of a human life.

"Emily I... You almost died. You did die. I..." the blonde stuttered in between tears. "I don't want to lose you like that again."

"Jennifer, I am right here, I am not going anywhere, you have to know that I will do everything I can to stick to that. You are my best friend, I hate to see you struggling like this when you are the most brave person I know, I just... oh, come here." As Emily spoke those last words she pulled JJ closer to her, hoping to quell the younger woman's fears.

The blonde understood. She was a friend, she always had been. That was all. Her tears had stopped and with this thought she breathed a deep sigh. Emily took this as a sign her friend was calming down and released her hold on the woman, pulling them both up to a standing position.

"C'mon, I think you should get home and get some rest. I am coming with you, no arguments," the dark haired agent instructed as she grabbed JJ's hand and pulled her out of the bathroom, "I just need to know that you are ok" she added with so much concern that the liaison's heart tugged in her chest.

Making their way through the surrounding offices, grabbing both their bags, they headed for the parking lot. JJ knew it would be a lost cause to argue with Emily about driving herself so she gave in without an argument, as she had little fight left in her anyway. Today she had not been able to do anything but sit and watch as the world had sped quickly by her, scared that the woman she had grown to love was going to once again be gone. She couldn't even fight, for her, for anything, all she could do was cry.

Emily settled herself in the driver's seat and turned to the woman next to her, covering her hand with her own. "It will be ok JJ, I know it will."


	4. Chapter 4

No sooner had Emily started the engine of JJ's car had she turned it off, the blonde realizing quickly she had zoned out of the entire drive, focussing only on the dark roads that had rapidly merged into one. She fumbled with her keys at the doorstep, only managing to finally unlock the door when Emily put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Setting both their bags down in the entrance way, they silently headed into the living area, with the brunette taking a familiar route around the kitchen counter top to pull a bottle of wine down from the shelf.

JJ knew tonight was the night she would have to confront her feelings for the other agent. It was inevitable. They had been burying her for so long that she was beyond caring about the consequences, all she knew was Emily was everything.

"JJ, do you want red or white, I know you have both here and you will probably tell me to choose but tonight I think it is your choice. So, red or white?"

"Red" she replied knowing that the more sensible option would be to choose the white but sensible choices and anything of the like, JJ knew, were long gone. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Emily stretching up, reaching for an inconveniently placed bottle and JJ slowly turned to watch her. It was odd she had been attracted to women before, but never like this, never in a way that made her want to act on it, to actually acknowledge it. Growing up in a small town meant it had been easier to push those feelings aside. When she was fourteen she figured she would deal with them when it came to her last years of high school, in high school she thought she would leave it until college and when college rolled around she decided it would be far more simple to throw herself into her work and soccer. It was just easier that way.

"Emily can I talk to you?" JJ suddenly blurted out, there was no way she could leave this, she had already put it off for so long in her life already.

"Sure JJ, that is what I am here for tonight, well that and making sure your wine glass is never empty."

"Anyone would think you were trying to get me drunk Emily Prentiss, do you have any morals?"

"Nope, and don't complain because you already knew that. Anyway, I am sorry, what was it you wanted to talk about?"Emily quickly asked knowing she needed to steer the conversation back to the blonde as she clearly needed to get whatever was weighing her down off her chest.

The young woman took a deep breath and composed herself, trying to pick the perfect words to begin with, only to realize that it wasn't perfect words she needed, it was simply the truth.

"Emily, I feel like I owe you an explanation, you have been amazing today, I wasn't even sure what I wanted or needed yet you seemed to know the entire time." JJ paused gauging the intense look on the older woman's face, "when we carried you out of that house, and I sat in the ambulance on the way to the hospital as they tried to revive you I thought I had truly lost you."

"But JJ you didn't I am right here, I came back I..."

"Please Em, let me finish. That feeling I felt, despite the fact that you came back, it still haunts me, it is a constant reminder of the things I have not told you, of the things I had been putting off doing foolishly thinking I had all the time I could possibly want."JJ paused once more and saw a look of understanding creep across the other woman's face.

"I didn't realize until you were 'gone' that you are everything to me Emily Prentiss, everything. I get that this admission will be one sided but I knew that for my own sanity I had to tell you, as I really don't like being the girl found crying in the bathroom."

JJ studied Emily closely once more for a reaction but she saw nothing this time. The face that had previously conveyed the exact emotions of the agent was now blank as she took a long sip of her wine.

"Emily, are you seriously not going to answer me?" the blonde started angrily.

"Jennifer please, I just... I need some time," she answered as she put her wine down and pushed herself up off the couch, "I think I need to get going home and you need to get some rest but please, just give me some time ok?"

And with that Emily grabbed her bag and stepped out the front door into the cool night air. JJ was left alone once more, with only her thoughts for company, hoping that this time she had not been left alone for good.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a week.

An entire week of cordial greetings and brief conversations. JJ was at a loss as to what to do. Throughout the seven days the tone of Emily's voice had remained unchanged every time she spoke to the blonde it was as if she had completely forgotten what had transpired earlier. It was not as though she had changed her demeanour completely; ignoring her or even pushing the younger woman away it seemed that she had simply put up barriers, not letting her emotions escape.

Late Friday evening JJ wandered towards the elevator and saw Garcia's brightly coloured frame hop inside so she quickly chased after her, in a hope of finding out if Emily had said anything to the analyst at all.

"Hello my sweetness," Garcia cheerfully greeted JJ, "what can the wise one do for you today?" she enquired while pressing the button to head down to their respective cars.

"Garcia, how is it that you always know when I am going to ask you something?"

"Well that is a little bit of a redundant question isn't it, you know that I am all seeing, knowing and hearing, why would you expect anything else?"

"Hmmm," JJ thought as she watched her friend pull a feather ended pen out of her pocket to write a note on her hand, "so seeing as you are all knowing, do you really want me to ask you my question all?"

"Well JJ, I assume you were going to ask me about a certain dark haired agent and her odd nature this week?" Garcia began, raising an eyebrow as she watched JJ nod her head slightly, blushing at the same time, silently replying to the other woman's question.

"I also assume you have something to do with this subtle change and that you were going to ask whether it was simply yourself she was acting differently towards, and I would have answered, had you asked, that no it is not just you. But after watching the two of you since she arrived, I think you're going to be the only one with a chance of getting her to open up. She needs you JJ, I am not sure what is going on in that pretty little head of hers, but I really hope you can fix it, actually scratch that, I know you can fix it." With a small wink added for good measure at the end of her speech the analyst exited the elevator and headed towards her car, leaving JJ a little shocked but with a mission for the evening.

She knew Emily had said to give her time. Time. What the hell was time? What made JJ angry was the fact that every day the BAU team saw just how precious time was, and for the past week Emily had been squandering it. She had never expected, after exposing her feelings to the other woman, that they would simply fall into each other's arms, fairytales didn't exist, that she understood, well not in this lifetime anyway. All she had hoped for was that Emily would give her a chance to resolve her feelings in some way whether it be how she hoped or not, as JJ knew she could not keep wasting time like she had been.

As the blonde approached the door the older woman's building she expelled a breath she did not realize she had been holding. The cold night air was slowly penetrating the layers of the warm coat she had wrapped herself up in, urging her to press the buzzer to the apartment she so longed to enter, but JJ just couldn't bring herself to do it. She knew she needed to but somehow her courage from moments before had been lost, her hope of being composed and courageous seemed to be rapidly disappearing.

What baffled her was the idea that she could address hundreds of people daily, commanding press conferences, briefings and families of victims, yet she could not even command her own feelings. This lack of control scared the woman, it was something that had left her feeling helpless. JJ had never been at the mercy of her own heart before, she had decided early in life it was better to let her head rule, protecting herself from the trouble her own emotions could cause.

Turning quickly after realising how out of control she felt, JJ headed across the footpath back towards her car, suddenly her cell phone began ringing , echoing loudly in the dark and empty street and startling her from her thoughts. She quickly pulled it out of her pocket and answered without even looking at who was calling, hoping it was not someone needing the team to head away on another case.

"Look up." Were the first words she heard, knowing the voice in an instant, she turned her head towards the apartments and saw her caller standing at a spectacular oversized window, hand on hip and peering down at the sidewalk. JJ could not quite make out the expression on the brunette's face but she didn't doubt that her lips would be tweaked in a small smirk, as she watched the liaison run back up to the steps and pull open the door into the complex, finding the confidence in those words, that she had previously needed.

The trip upstairs was far too long and she could feel her heart starting to speed up and her thoughts beginning to race at a million miles an hour. Reaching the floor and heading down the hallway the blonde attempted to calm her breathing and compose herself, this was what she wanted. This was what she needed most, the woman on the other side of the door, the woman who had become something she could hardly describe, Emily. It was that simple.


End file.
